What the fuck?

So there’s this Stand Up to Cancer¬†show tonight hosted by Katie Couric and simulcast on ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC and 26 cable networks, to raise money for cancer research with–says The Washington Post–“a star-packed hour of musical performances and celebrity appearances,” including performances from The Who, Jennifer Hudson, Lupe Fiasco, Common, Ariana Grande and Dave Matthews and appearances from Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, Jon Hamm and Eric Stonestreet.

We’ve come a long way in these star-packed multi-channel simulcast charity shows since the one after 9/11. A long way down. I mean, stand up to cancer? Eric Stonestreet?

I want to know which channels aren’t showing Stand Up to Cancer, because I take my cancer sitting down.