The Bessman Sideshow

Commentary

The Bessman Sideshow: Idiot Patrick J. Kennedy

Jim

Saw Patrick Kennedy last night on MSNBC, practically in tears again pleading that marijuana not be legalized, not even medical. It’s a gateway drug, another drug for our children to fall victim to, etc.–the same old shite we’ve had to listen to since the ‘60s.

He was pitted against some doctor on the side of legalization, presumably, but whatever tack he was taking got lost in a puffed up personal exchange with crybaby Kennedy.

So let’s put this jack-off down once and for all. Just because Pattycakes couldn’t hold his pot, it means those of us who can should remain criminals? Because kids might do it, responsible adults shouldn’t?

I know and you know many, many people who’ve smoked dope every day since the ‘60s, and they ain’t dopes. Nope, they’re people in the absolute highest positions in their fields. The worst it does to them is get them through their day, maybe even makes them laugh at something they might not have found funny, maybe gave them a brilliant idea.

But look. I know where Kennedy’s coming from. When I was a kid there wasn’t nothing I wouldn’t shoot. Heroin, morphine, speed, Darvon. I sniffed everything from Testors glue to Freon to Oven Guard to PAM to gasoline. I’d gobble down any pill in front of me and was so high at a rock festival I took both acid and psylocibin and didn’t get off on either of them. When I finally landed in the state mental hospital, they said they didn’t know what my eye color was for two months. And you’re right if you guessed that my gateway was…alcohol.

So I can appreciate that it was a problem for Kennedy and commend him for cleaning himself up and doing what he needs to do to stay healthy and productive. And no way I’m encouraging anyone to do what I did or do—especially Darvon, if they still make it: It blows out your veins, kids.

Indeed, I went clean myself for two years after I got out of the hospital. I refer to them as “The Lost Years.” But don’t get me wrong! I rarely really do drugs anymore outside of prescription. If I smoke pot, it’s no more than a hit or two at a time. A line or two of coke if I get lucky. I’ll drink like a fish if it’s in front of me. But I never buy any of it. I’m a freelance writer and don’t have that kind of money—and as you can see if you’re reading this, I got work to do.

But it’s not for me to talk for anyone else, unless it’s a problem. And if it’s not a problem, it’s not a problem.

I won’t say this about anything else, but I’ve yet to see any conclusive evidence that there’s any harm to health from smoking marijuana, and we’ve all seen plenty of good it does for those who are sick. And there are millions, probably billions, who smoke it responsibly. And the trillions wasted on the failed War on Drugs have wrecked not only us, but other countries that we’ve interfered with…and…and….

But enough of stating the obvious.

The Bessman Sideshow: ‘Billboard.’ How Could You?

Jim

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not at all averse to bad-mouthing Billboard. Not only for the way they unceremoniously dumped me after over 22 years of being on the masthead as a contributor, editor and Special Correspondent, but for the changes since my time there in the way they cover the business.

But except for a few angry tweets—my protest for their disgusting, belittling, inconsequential headline for the monumental world music pioneer Ravi Shankar’s obit, “Ravi Shankar–Idol of George Harrison, Estranged Father of Norah Jones–Dead at 92,” comes to mind—I haven’t said much in writing about my experiences there and feelings about it, except hinting at it in the first entry in this series.

So now another headline causes me to castigate the magazine I devoted most of my career to. From yesterday’s billboard.biz: “Dorothy Carvello Shares: Ahmet Ertegun ‘Felt Me Up,’ Wu-Tang Scares Germans and More”—this followed by a link to a Billboard story with the same title.

I don’t want to further dignify this other than to say I’d never heard of the person making the accusation, who’s doing so in an effort to “shop around” a memoir. I will say it should be no business of Billboard’s to help shop it, and especially to help smear the memory of one of the most important—and I can’t think of anyone more important—people in the history of the music business, who is no longer living and can’t defend himself, not that he should have to defend himself, to Billboard or any other magazine, for that matter.

I can’t say I knew Ahmet well, but I did know him, and for a long time. In addition to his talent, in public he was always the classiest of men, and I always felt humbled to be in his presence, as well I should have.

I’ll never forget—how could I?– sitting at a banquet table in between Ahmet and Tony Bennett. Ahmet was presenting the New York Recording Academy chapter’s “Hero Award” to Tom Silverman, sitting on his other side, Tony was presenting to the late music publishing legend Frank Military, on his other side.

During the dinner, Tony was glancing frequently at Ahmet, then looking down and drawing in his sketchbook. After dinner he tore out the page, handed it to me and asked me to pass it to Ahmet. It was a pencil drawing of Ahmet, who was thrilled, of course. Such are giants.

Tim White, then Billboard’s editor, was given a “Hero’s Award,” too, that night, and deservedly so. No one was closer to Tim at Billboard than me.

But Tim made mistakes. One of his biggest was his decision to axe “Inside Tracks,” the back-page column written forever by John Sippel. It reported rumors and gossip concerning music business executives—nothing ever personal or really damaging, mainly who was said or thought to be going wherever. It was easily the most popular editorial feature of the book, the back page that everyone turned to first.

“Billboard is not about rumors and gossip!” I remember Tim barking to me, as he was prone to do in explaining something that he deeply believed in. At such times there was no reasoning with him. I’m sure it cost the magazine dearly, and they brought it back after he died, but by then it was too late: The Internet had taken hold, and readers had learned that they could get the inside track elsewhere.

But Tim would never have stood for “Ahmet Ertegun ‘Felt Me Up,’” which is a sleazy Page Six New York Post item at best. I don’t know that it’s slander, but it’s a most ugly smear on the memory of the type of man without whom there would be no music industry, let alone trade magazine to report and support it.

Bessman Sideshow: J.Lo’s ‘Billboard Icon Award’

Jim

I could never understand the Billboard Music Awards.

I mean, it’s all sales, airplay and downloads chart performance-related, right? So if you’re already No. 1, why are you getting an award for being No. 1?

And if there’s more to it, I never even watched the show, and I sure never paid any attention to the charts—which now that I think of it, kind of begs the question, Why did Billboard keep me there well over 20 years as a contributor to begin with?

I’ll answer that in another section on this site at some point. For now I want to note that the Billboard Music Awards has gone off-the-charts in inanity, what with the announcement that Jennifer Lopez will be honored with what Billboard calls “the prestigious Icon Award” May 18 at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards in—where else?—the world’s music capital of Las Vegas.

Say what? Icon Award? Prestigious?

Like I said, I never liked the BMAs—rhymes with VMAs and CMAs, by the way—to begin with. That includes the Billboard Century Award—“the magazine’s highest honor for creative achievement,” according to Wikipedia, and named for Billboard‘s centennial in 1994. Yes, I had to look it up on Wikipedia, but it sounds like something Timothy White said, and I’m pretty sure that Tim came up with it.

Tim, of course, was the acclaimed rock journalist/author, famed for his Bob Marley biography Catch a Fire: The Life of Bob Marley, who became Billboard editor in 1991 and pretty much gave me free reign. He appointed me to the posts of Special Correspondent–the first in the trade magazine’s history–and Music Publishing Editor.

I always say that when Tim died in 2002, he took me with him. I was gradually stripped of my titles and unceremoniously dumped. At the end I couldn’t even get the album review editor to return an email. In the immortal words of Red Buttons, I never got a dinner.

But no, this isn’t sour grapes. I never liked the Billboard Music Awards to begin with. It seemed like such a blatant ruse to exploit the Billboard brand, not so much in support of the trade, which would have been legitimate, but at the expense of it.

As for the Century Award, it was a nice enough gesture, but again, designed to elevate the brand with a self-important title tying in with superstars who, while certainly credible, were also entirely predictable. During Tim’s lifetime they naturally reflected his tastes: George Harrison came first, in 1992, and was followed by Buddy Guy, Billy Joel, Joni Mitchell, Carlos Santana, Chet Atkins, James Taylor, Emmylou Harris, Randy Newman and John Mellencamp. Like them or not, it’s hard to argue with their merits, same with those who came after Tim–Annie Lennox, Sting, Stevie Wonder, Tom Petty and Tony Bennett, up through 2006.

No Century Award was given from 2007 to 2010. The award was renamed the Icon Award in 2011—says Wikipedia—and according to a May 5 Billboard story on its website, is the Billboard Music Awards’ (they expand the acronym to BBMAs)—“ultimate honor.”

“The accolade recognizes lifetime achievement and an artist’s remarkable and enduring contribution to popular music,” the story said. “Lopez becomes just the fourth artist and the first woman, joining past winners include [sic] Neil Diamond, Stevie Wonder and Prince.”

I’m sorry BBMAs, but grammar aside, that last line reads like a word relationship question on an aptitude test: “Which of these names doesn’t belong with the other three?”

“Jennifer Lopez is one of the most iconic performers of her generation,” commented Larry Klein, producer of the Billboard Music Awards, in the piece. “We are thrilled to honor her historic career with the 2014 Icon Award and will be on the edge of our seats lik [sic] everyone else when she takes the stage.”

Okay, we haven’t met, Larry—if I may call you Larry—and I’m sure you have no idea who I am—make that, was. But I contributed to Billboard every week for well over 20 years and I’m telling you now that I, for one, will not be on the edge of my seat “lik everyone else” when J.Lo takes the stage. I ain’t even gonna be watchin’! And I say this knowing full well—having read the article—that she’ll “grace the stage to perform with one of the night’s finalists Pitbull to premiere the official anthem of this year’s FIFA World Cup, ‘We Are One (Ole Ola)’ [and] give another debut performance on [sic] the night with a rendition of ‘First Love,’ a single lifted from her new studio album A.K.A., which is set for release on June 17.”

Please, people! I understand that these shows are all about ratings, and in the case of music awards shows, promotion. But like I always say about the Grammys, there’s plenty of other artists out there that are equally as good, if not better than, the ones they promote.

And no, this isn’t sour grapes, and I don’t mean to discount J.Lo’s huge commercial success–the elephant in the room–and maybe I’d still be at Billboard had  I cared more about that sort of thing. But iconic? On par with Neil Diamond, Stevie Wonder and Prince? Please, Billboard!

The Bessman Sideshow

Jim

So I needed a new category for commentary-type thought pieces, and a name to go with it. You know, something suitably self-important.

The Bessman Factor came to mind, but I didn’t want to tempt being confused with O’Reilly. The Bessman View didn’t work, as I’m no Barbara Walters, not to mention Jenny McCarthy.

The Bessman Perspective was too ponderous, and then The Bessman Circus popped into my head—kind of the way Cancer Funnies did. Close, but no exploding cigar.

So please make welcome herewith, The Bessman Sideshow, premiere post to follow shortly.